If, by the title of the post, you are hoping I will tell you about the first time I heard Take On Me, you are going to be disappointed.
If you are hoping to hear about the most pivotal moment in my gospel teaching journey, then please read on.
Allow me to set the stage. I’m a nineteen year old missionary, around 9 months into it, knocking doors. I’m with my zone leader, basically an experienced missionary responsible for the training and coaching of a dozen or so other missionaries. We knocked on a door in an apartment complex, and were greeted by a woman- probably in her mid thirties. She let us in and allowed us to share a message with her. At the time, we had a guideline to not spend more than 30 minutes teaching a single female. So, we shared a few things, had a prayer, and unsuccessfully attempted to schedule a return appointment. Pretty typical for a missionary afternoon.
For some reason, I was thinking back on the lesson when- AHA! It dawned on me. During that lesson, I was fully engaged and constantly trying to see things from this lady’s perspective. When my zone leader was teaching, I was prayerfully searching her face to see how she was responding to the lesson. I was trying to understand where she was at in life, and what I could possibly say that would help her. I was filled with compassion for her, and a pure desire to say and do what was in her best interest. I was not at all thinking about my presentation of the lesson, but upon the reception of the message. Like a flash, I realized that I had actually been doing this for quite some time, I just hadn’t noticed it happening. I had shifted my focus away from myself, and to those I was trying to serve.
I have reflected often upon this moment, and have concluded that this is the most important aspect of teaching. And by far the most powerful lesson that I have learned. At some point, you must change your focus. It’s not about you. It’s not about your delivery, your tone, your body language. Yes, I believe these things are important. But, they are nowhere near as important as the person or people you are teaching. It is all about how the message is received. The great news is that as you focus on the listener, your delivery, tone, and body language become much more natural.
In his epistle to the Philippians, Paul counseled, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
I figure that this matter of empathic teaching, like so many other gospel topics, is a lesser law-higher law kind of thing. We probably need to start out by focusing on our delivery of the message before we can “graduate” to focusing on the receiving of the message. The trick is to be able to make this transition relatively quickly. As I have pondered this, I think there are a few practices that, if done consistently, will speed up this process.
First, praying for charity. This well-proven method, as advised by Moroni, really works. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.” As our love for others increases, we naturally become less self-centered and more other-centered. This applies to everything, including teaching.
Second, thinking about those you teach while you prepare. Make it a common practice to consider the needs of those in your class. If you regularly are teaching the same group, try to really understand where they are at in life. Praying for class members by name is a great practice to implement if you want to be a more empathic teacher.
Third, get constructive feedback from someone that you trust. Have them attend a class that you teach, and let you know how they experienced it as a learner. You may be surprised that your experience as a teacher and their experience as a learner didn’t quite match up. This will help you realize what works and what doesn’t.
Lastly, master some basic public speaking skills, and practice them until they are instinctive. Skills such as hand gestures, voice inflection, pacing, and eye contact can become stored as a muscle memory. As this occurs, you no longer need to focus on these things, and your attention can be spent on those you are teaching.
My teaching ability, and the satisfaction I receive from teaching, increased in proportion to the degree that I looked outside of myself, and towards others. I implore you to have this Aha! moment yourself, to your benefit and, most important, to the benefit of those whom you serve.